So, I haven’t been completely honest with myself or anyone
around me for that matter. I mean yes I am a 19 year old female but I definitely
don’t feel like it
I’m tired of trying to please others and doing what others
think I ‘should’ do or what society perceives as ‘right’, it’s exhausting!
For a while now I’ve been really struggling with change and
social pressures, I’ve been battling between being myself and being what others
want me to be and aspects of the old me that others are holding onto. I’ve
changed, we all change, through experiences; love, travel, hurt, knowledge etc.
Through my experiences I’ve found I love my ‘me’ time, my alone time, when I’m
alone I feel as though it’s the only time I’m truly myself, I’m completely at
peace and in balance with life, everything just feels.. right. I’ve recently been exploring with a high carb
low fat plant based diet, (though I hate labels) and before you start thinking ‘oh
no not another vegan’, I don’t despise other ‘diets’ (I hate that word too),
heck 6 months ago I was eating salmon or chicken daily and not to mention the
eggs and greek yoghurt, but I wasn’t happy, nor was I satisfied or satiated or
energetic or myself, I never completely felt whole, something was always missing,
always wrong, always not quite there.
Why am I incorporating this new style of eating into my
diet? Because I’m listening to my body, I’m trusting my body and this is what
it’s asking for and oh my god it feels so right. I get excited and so
passionate when I talk about health because finally I have found something that
makes me feel so happy, I can not even begin to describe how amazing it feels
to listen to your body, give your body what it wants and see how much this can
transform you, not only physically and mentally but spiritually too! It’s given
me a greater appreciation for everything around me, family, friends, the world,
health and being active! Despite being so passionate about how I feel now, I am
still hiding away in my little bubble, my little ‘me’ time and lying/denying my
true, new, happy, self to everyone else.
This blog was inspired by a quote I stumbled across that
someone had posted on www.essenaoneil.tumblr.com
“When people say “you’ve changed” there’s a 95% chance that you just stopped
acting they wanted you to.” So finally
I’ve decided to cut the crap, I deserve, everyone deserves, to be themselves
and have the freedom of being able to be themselves, I’ve been blaming others
but if I want something to change I need to make it happen, its my choice,
everything is our own choice; how we feel, what we put into our bodies, how we perceive
our surroundings, how we interpret information, who and what we surround
ourselves with, how we live our life.. this is our decision, our life is our
choice.
Through this I wish to help others, ever since I was little
I’ve known that I want to make an impact on people’s lives, I want to teach
them, show them, guide them, help them and inspire them in anyway that I possibly
can. Finally, I’ve found a way that I think I can do that, through health, and
when I say health I don’t mean I’m going to give you a diet and a workout plan and
say it’s my way or no way and this is how you’re going to get skinny, no I’m
not about that, health is a journey not a quick fix and not everyone is the
same, I want to inspire you to explore new things to find what works for you,
to accept and love yourself, to find balance and peace and most importantly
find happiness, it feels so wonderful to finally be happy and I believe that is
the true foundation of being healthy.
So this is my new beginning, the start of my journey, my
complete self, right here and I want to share it with you all. It may not be perfect, it may not be what
others want to hear, or see or read but it’s a start for me and it’s what I
have wanted to do for a long time, no more fear of judgement. I’m chasing my happiness,
I’m breaking down the walls and revealing my true self to all. Yes, this is
just my beginning too.
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always
comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay.
The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory,
on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with
you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”
- Anthony Bourdain
Lily xo
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